Wednesday, November 14, 2007
OK, so it has been an emotional 2 weeks for me (must be PMS-ha). This is going to be very difficult to write but I know that writing this will be part of the process. I'm not sure why the Lord is having me re-visit this part of my life but He is! My parents divorced when I was 10. After that I did not have much of a relationship with my Father. I have some good memories and I lived with him for a few years in junior high school. When I hit high school, college, and beyond that is when I really started thinking about it and how it affected my life. A couple of weeks ago I read a post by Heather that started all the emotions again. I was so struck by that post. After that I heard a beautiful song by Alison Krauss on the GMA awards about her father (Simple Love). Then, my friend's Dad had a heart attack while going home from work and is in ICU. He is such a good man. She told me a story about how he would get up at 4:00 in the morning to make her pancakes on days that she had a tennis match. How cool is that? All these things together got me asking the questions again:
How could a man leave a beautiful wife and 3 children?
How could he barely give my Mom enough to live on?
How can you go through life not being a part of your children's lives?
Even worse, how could you not take time for your grandchildren?
I am thankful for what I have been through. I know it made me the person I am today. I know my children will never go through what I did. All I can do now is be a part of his life the best way I know how. I think the Lord is taking me through this to make it FRESH to me that HE IS MY HEAVENLY FATHER and will always be here for me no matter what. One day, He will say to me: "Come here my daughter. Here is a hug from your Heavenly Father."
Mom, if you are reading this-thank you for raising three children alone and what a great job you did!
Also, thank you Jess for the reminder in your post: Letter From Your Heavenly Father!
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